Things To Know At The Crappiness Hotel.
To help guide you through the confusing hallways of the "Crappiness Hotel", we, the Hotel Management, have given these little instruction booklets to every guest here at the Hotel. Hopefully, they'll explain enough so the guests won't piss off the Concierge.
The Pointers :
These nifty little buggers will take you through the Hotel.
In order : back into the room you were previously in,
forward into where you probably haven't been,
up into the rafters
or back down again.
The Rooms
Each room is intended to give you some information on the guest presented to you in their natural habitat. Guests *will* include the likes of historical figures, celebrities and just strange people. Images and text may be stolen from this Hotel if you wish, just email us so we can be sure you're not abusing our guests. That's our job.
Rented rooms are of guests who each have their own 'service' to provide for the Hotel. You may email them questions (etc) and they'll be sure to reply.
The Good News/Newspaper
Sick of all the stupid, boring stories? The Good News is intended to print up all those stories they show in the late news on the tele when the kiddies have gone to bed.
The Dining Room
This place is where the drunks go, because we haven't been able to get a proper bar up and running. All drunkards at the Hotel (excluding the Concierge) have some interesting tales to tell, in the form of songs (mp3's and so forth).
The Kitchen
Even though the Kitchen hardly works, we've some great recipes for you to whip up before you stay at the Hotel.
The Concierge